Video Mystery Shopping: Does this dress make me look fat? The TRUTH about honest Feedback!
Part 1 of a 2 part series. Published in Sales & Marketing Ideas Magazine
“Boy, do I look FAT in that outfit! And, do I really have a DOUBLE CHIN??”
“OMG! I can’t believe I wore that suit! Look at how wrinkled my jacket is!!”
“I look so old and tired! They must have distorted MY video!”
If you have ever been on video (or video mystery shopped) one or two of these statements has probably come to mind upon seeing yourself on video. We ALL do, even me! And this is what I do for a living. It is only natural to be critical of yourself when you first see your video. This is why we encourage ALL our clients to watch their videos AT LEAST twice! The first time you watch, you are paying too much attention to your physical self and not really listening to your shop.
Once I did a video and it was shot outside, I actually wore sunglasses because I was so self-conscious about my looks. My company’s sales coach and marketing consultant, Leah Turner, said to me: “Melinda….when you show up to speak, you look the way you look, you can’t change that. It is what it is, and it is time to get over it.”
I hated to admit it, but she was right!! (By the way, I think I look good for 70! Ok, I’m really 60 years old but when I share that with audiences, I get no reaction so I had to bump it up 10 years!)
Anyway, in my role as a professional speaker it is imperative that I watch countless, painful videos of myself speaking in order to improve my performance. Once I get past the physical shock, I can really focus and hone in on my message to improve my presentation. This allows me to continually develop my skill set as a speaker and presenter.
One thing that I have found to be especially helpful and motivating for me is to actually seek feedback from my peers and friends. I welcome it from others and I always listen with an open mind.
You see, your ability to handle candid, brutally honest feedback is in direct proportion to your confidence level. The more confident you are the less defensive and more acceptable to feedback you become.
Remember, you don’t ALWAYS need to follow the feedback, just take it in and decide what works and what doesn’t work for you. If you ask for opinions, you will certainly get them. It does not mean you need to apply every opinion!
If you allow yourself to sift through and analyze the feedback, you will become aware of what you need to pay attention to. The bottom line? Feedback is always about opinions. Not all opinions are the same and not all opinions are right. You have to determine what feedback works for you that will allow you to grow, prosper and be successful.
I have several people who give me feedback, both solicited and random:
My mastermind groups. I sign up and participate in these specifically FOR the feedback. I respect each member of the group and value their input!
Close friends and my boyfriend Howard. This group will ALWAYS tell me straight up how something hits them, how my new headshot really looks, if my new IBS speech is a winner or a flop!
My clients. Their feedback leaves no room for interpretation…it is always crystal clear. When I succeed, they are still a client. When they are gracious enough to give me feedback and allow me to make adjustments to solve a problem, I am very grateful. Sometimes, they just move on to another video shopping firm. That feedback is the most obvious…..it is basically saying “you’re fired”!
Since I am in the evaluation and “feedback” business (video mystery shopping), I thought it would be helpful to write about feedback, both receiving it (for salespeople) and delivering it (sales managers). The key to a successful experience with video mystery shopping is to provide feedback and use the shop as a learning tool that will allow your sales people to grow.
Next week, I will get into specifics on how you can give (and receive!) effective feedback.
